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My dear Mr. Momodu,
What ho! Your message fills me with intrigue. Just back from a three-week tour round the estates,
mingling with the peasants and all that, and I find your little missive sitting in my inbox.
Mille pardons, as the froggies say, that I haven't got back to you sooner;
these tedious perigrinations do drag on something frightful,
but such are the wearisome duties of the gentry, what?
So, to business! You have money but can't get at it, I have money but can't get enough!
Ha ha! What's the deal, my little foreign friend?
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
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10 Oct 2002 14:18:58 GMT
sir,
Thank you for your mail and now i know there is hope
basically you are right i cannot get to the money. it is
in my father's account. I have a friend at the bank and
the foreign transfer department and he advised me that i
should find a foreigner that will open his own personal
account at the bank and then he can credit the account.
So in other words you just open an account and then he
will credit your account online.
The bank's name is Ecobank PLc
their website is: http://ecobank.port5.com
Email Address:info@ecobank.port5.com
Will you help, I will glady give you 30% of the total
amount.
Shaka.
______________________________________________________
Boîte aux lettres - Caramail - http://www.caramail.com
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12 Oct 2002 21:44:23 GMT
To whom it may concern,
Due to upcoming business interests in West Africa, I will shortly
require an account in a suitable regional bank.
I got your name while searching on the Internet, and wish to enquire
about opening an account with your institution, with facility for
high-value international transfers.
Please advise details of application procedure ASAP.
Your sincerely,
P. F. fF. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
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12 Oct 2002 21:59:05 GMT
My Dear Mr. Momodu,
My most profound apologies for not replying to your
message yesterday. Friday is hunt day here at Little
Farnsworth, and yesterday's turned out to be a complete
disaster. By the end of it we had to put down seven hounds,
two horses, and a beater. What a calamity! It's a devil of a
job to find a good horse these days, don't you know?
So anyway, I wasn't able to get back in front of the old
Interwhatsit until this evening. I read your message and took
a gander at the ecobank website. All looks very shipshape,
so have fired off official-sounding request for foreign
account to the address you gave me. Assuming all goes
well, we should have a suitable account ready in two
shakes of a duck's tail, and can proceed as planned.
By the way, old chap, are you sure your friend the
bank-wallah can be trusted? We are talking about quite a lot
of brass here, after all.
Well, T.T.F.N.
P.P.
PS The full moniker's a bit of a mouthful, what? My friends
just call me "Percy". You can call me "Lord
Percival".
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
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14 Oct 2002 08:14:17 GMT
P. F. fF. Percival
Sir,
Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, We will glady be happy to assist you and open
a private account. With us you will have access to online banking, you can check your
balance and make transfers online. Before we proceed with opening the account.
Will you be opening a US dollars account or a pounds sterling account or a Euro Dollar
account. How much will you be opening the account with?
We will also require some kind of Identification, you can scan a photo and fax it to us or attach it by email.
After hearing from you, I will send you the opening of the account form.
You will be the only one to have access to your account, and you will choose a three pin number
to have access to our online facilities.
Since we are private banking, all informations sent to us are secure.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
FOR ECOBANK PRIVATE BANKING
Mr Segun Adewale
Customer Service
Direct Tel: 23417763412
_______________________________________________________________
Be Unique! Get your personalized email address at www.NamePlanet.com
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15 Oct 2002 08:52:17 GMT
Mr. S. Adewale,
Dear Sir,
I am in receipt of your message concerning opening a
private account, and write to answer your questions, as
follows:
1. You have asked which currency I would prefer to use for
my account. Good grief man, it will be in good English
pounds or not at all! You'd have to be an utter wally, Mr.
Adewale, to think that a stout English yeoman like myself
would sink so low as to use colonial dollars, or even worse,
that ridiculous toy money those European swine want to
foist upon us!
2. Opening balance. I will have no need at present for
expenses in Africa, therefore minimum balance acceptable.
Please advise.
3. Photo ID. No scanning facilities here at the Manor. Am
therefore arranging session with local photographer in Little
F. at earliest available. Should be able to return photo with
completed application form--please send this ASAP.
Yours etc.
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 2002 01:14:17 -0700
To: <percypercy@london.com>
Subject: New Account Information
>
> P. F. fF. Percival
>
> Sir,
>
> Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, ...
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15 Oct 2002 09:18:43 GMT
Dear Lord percival,
Why do you hunt animals? I was just curious.
My friend at the bank i trust him 100% he too needs cash
he told me to inform you that you should deposit a
reasonable amount in the account, so that once he credits
the account it will not raise eyebrows.
If you wish to call me anytime, My telephone number is
23417753403. As soon as you open the account they will
give you your account number, send this to me.
This is all that is needed to credit your account with the
money.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Shaka.
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16 Oct 2002 03:48:31 GMT
Mr P. F. fF. Percival
Sir,
Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, and concerning the photo it is understood.
Basically since you will be choosing a three number pin this will allow you to have access to our online facilities. The minimum amount to open a Pound Sterling account is One Thousand Pounds, Which will be credited into your account. We do not collect any fee to setup an account for you. I have attached the application form for you to fill and fax it back to us on 23417590213. I am your account officer and if there is anything you need from me just send me a mail.
You are therefore advised to send this fee for opening the account to Me.
Mr. Gadi Adams
Lagos- Nigeria.
Lagos is the city
Nigeria is the country.
Use Western union Money transfer, This is the fastest way to get money across.
It is very reliable. Put the test questions as what for?
Ans: Account.
Also please choose a Three pin number that you will be using for your online banking.
Upon payment please send all the payment details to this email and fax the receipt, Please fill the attached form for opening the account. The details of the Western union like control no, sender’s name etc. Accounts take about a week for us to confirm, but we can confirm and receive western union the same day. Once everything is received your account will be active and ready to be used in 48hrs. I will then forward you your account no and the pin number that you will choose.
We appreciate your valued/future patronage look forward to a sustained and mutually beneficial business relationship with you.
Yours faithfully
Mr Gadi Adams
Account officer
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17 Oct 2002 10:30:42 GMT
Mr. Gadi Adams,
Thank you for your message and information on opening
an account. I was talking earlier to a Mr. Adewale. Has he
passed my account to you? I will assume that you have
access to the details of my correspondence with Mr.
Adewale.
Still digesting some of the details your message. Odd sort
of chap, Johnny Internet. Still struggling to come to grips
with it a little, but trust that I shall get there in the end. Can
currently supply following info:
A) No Western Union in Little Farnsworth. Not a lot of
anything in the multinational currency transfer market,
really. Will have to venture into the wider world once
location of nearest W.U. determined. Will advise soonest.
B) Slight holdup on the I.D. photo front, due to unexpected
arrival of squadron of Swedish lady footballers, temporarily
stranded in Little Farnsworth due to broken fanbelt on bus.
Local photographer advises he has cut a deal to provide
the gals with the money for the bus repairs. Wasn't too
forthcoming on the details, but apparently he will now be
too busy taking 'art photos' to take my I.D. photo until
Monday.
C) Opening balance. Good God, man, when I said
"minimum balance", I didn't mean pocket-money! Planning
to send 12,000 for opening balance. That's pounds
sterling, obviously, probably about 50 million lira or
whatever it is you use over there. Please advise credit
balanace interest rate by return post.
Yours etc.
P. F. fF. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 2002 20:48:31 -0700
To: <percypercy@london.com>
Subject: Re: New Account Information
> Mr P. F. fF. Percival
>
> Sir,
>
> Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, ...
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17 Oct 2002 10:49:00 GMT
My dear young African chum,
You ask why I hunt animals. Animals? I wish! You can't get
five minutes into a decent fox hunt these days without
some dashed tree-hugger getting under your hooves.
Animal hunting looks set to go the way of the dinosaur in
this country, I'm afraid.
Fortunately for us however, Little Farnsworth is rather an
odd sort of backwater in many ways, and here we have an
alternative. You see, Little F. was granted some pretty
peculiar sort of local rights and by-laws back in the days of
some of the loonier Stuart monarchs, and some of these
are actually still on the books. In particular, local petty
criminals have the option of shortening their prison
sentence considerably in return for participation in the
weekly hunt ... as the quarry.
You know, when I write it down like that, I have to say it
does strike me as perhaps a little out of step with the
civilized world, what? But I don't think you can call it cruel or
unusual. Participation is entirely optional for them, after all,
and actual fatalities are extremely rare. Well, fairly rare. Well
all right, it might be about fifty-fifty, but we do give them a
sporting chance, and good grief, it's only a hunt. It's not like
we actually STONE them to death, what?
I've just dashed off a note to the bank wallah a few minutes
ago (dealing with a different chappie there now,
apparently), and I took your advice about starting it up with a
respectable opening balance. Still nutting out the details
and form-filling etc. Will advise when I have more news.
Pip pip!
Percy.
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 2002 10:18:43 GMT+1
To: "Lord Percival Percival" <percypercy@london.com>
Subject: Re[1] Re[1] HELP
> Dear Lord percival,
>
> Why do you hunt animals? ...
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17 Oct 2002 11:54:27 GMT
P. F. fF. Percival,
Sir,
Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, We understand about no Western Union Location
in your area, You can go to a nearby branch office in other areas that are close.
Concerning the photo, Whenever it is ready you can send it Down.
When sending the Western Union for The 12,000.00 Pounds simply break it into two places.
This means that You will send It i Two Ways.
6,000.00 Pounds and then another 6,000.00 Pounds.
This means that you will get Two Control Numbers. What is your telephone and fax Number?
Do you have a mobile Number?
Have you filled the form? Try and fill the form and send it down. What you can do is that
after filling the form and sending the money for the deposit. I can activate your account
in 24hrs. Then you will have access to our online facilities. You can send the photo later on.
The photo is not really compulsory since there is online banking. Have you chosen your
Three pin number yet?
Once your account has been activated you will receive your bank statement ending of the month
by post and your credit balance interest rate will be given to you depending of the amount
deposited into your account. Since we are private banking all Information sent to us are secure
and we will not be shown to a third party. We always please Customers.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
Account Officer
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17 Oct 2002 12:06:53 GMT
P. F. fF. Percival
Sir,
Just wanted to inform you that i have given your file to Mr. Gadi Adams
He will set up your account for you. I also told him that you didn't have a
photo at present he said once you filled the form and sent the deposit
he will setup your account for you.
Just wanted to send my greetings to you and how is weather In UK?
FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE.
Yours truly,
Mr Segun Adewale.
Customer Service.
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17 Oct 2002 13:51:15 GMT
Partner,
My friend at the bank just called me now and he is ready
to credit the account, he said he can credit the account
tomorrow and saturday that i should tell my friend to
hurry up. have you opened the account yet?
He said that he is very free tomorrow and saturday to do
it. Write me!
Regards
Shaka
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19 Oct 2002 12:39:15 GMT
P. F. fF. Percival,
Sir,
This is to inform you that since there is no western union in Farnsworth, You can wire the money
into our corresponding bank account in Hong Kong and then we can credit it into your account here.
This way can safe you time also. But it will take us three working days to confirm it.
Below are the account details:
CITI BANK HONG KONG
50-52 QUEENS ROAD CENTRAL HONG KONG
SWIFT CODE: CITI HK HX
A/C NO: 81348533
A/C NAME: SHIZENG CHAO
Upon payment you can send the confirmation slip with the form. I hope i have been helpful.
Waiting to hear from you.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
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19 Oct 2002 15:48:15 GMT
partner,
My friend at the bank said he is ready to move. That have
you opened the account?
Shaka
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22 Oct 2002 10:44:02 GMT
Dear Mr. Gadi Adams,
Thank you very much for your helpful message. Have only just read
same this morning due to being bed-ridden with the gout for some
days.
Wire transfer to your Honkers account seems much more sensible idea
for inital deposit. Will arrange with local bank at soonest
opportunity. Shouldn't take long to set up, although not on the best
of terms with Mr. Smithers the Little Farnsworth bank manager. Damn
fool grumbles every time he sees me. Something about me requiring
three shoeboxes for cash storage instead of the regulation single
box. Can't help it if I'm the richest fellow in the shire, what? What
does he expect me to do, THROW the stuff away?
Yours, etc.
P. Percival.
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> P. F. fF. Percival,
> Sir,
> This is to inform you that since there is no western union ...
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22 Oct 2002 10:59:33 GMT
My dear young friend,
Profound apologies for the delay. Went a bit heavy on the roast swan
and brandy last week, and have been laid up for a few days with a
foul attack of the gout.
Have just now responded to a most helpful message from Mr. Adams at
the bank, suggesting wire transfer to their Hong Kong account as an
alternative means of making the inital deposit. What an excellent
chap that Mr. Adams is, suggesting this option off his own bat, so to
speak. You wouldn't catch that weasel Smithers at the Little F.
Savings and Loan doing something useful like that. I'll be off down
to the village to give him a swift kick up the back entrance about
organising the wire transfer, just as soon as I'm back on my pins.
Will let you know when we have some progress.
Incidentally, looks like photo ID not quite so important, given
online banking facility. Just as well actually, as resident Little
Farnsworth photographer not seen for some days now. One local claims
to have seen him climbing into the luggage compartment of the Swedish
Ladies' Football Team bus just before it finally departed. Same
witness said the poor chap looked completely exhausted, so may have
just been looking for somewhere to have a quiet lie down.
Nevertheless, chins a-wagging all around the village, and
photographer's wife looking none too pleased, I can tell you!
Toodle pip!
Percy.
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
> partner,
> My friend at the bank said he is ready to move. ...
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26 Oct 2002 11:19:02 GMT
My dear chap,
Great news: finally dragged myself into little Farnsworth
yesterday for a face-to-face with that idiot Smithers, the bank
manager. Gave him all the details of the Honkers account
for wire transfer, and told him to "hop to it!" (Bit
embarrassing actually, forgot he had a wooden leg.)
Anyway old Smithers then informed me that Hong Kong had
closed for the day some hours earlier. Muttered something
about "different time zone." Couldn't understand what on
earth he was on about at first, tempted to clip him 'round the
ear for insolence, but he sat me down and explained the
concept with a desk lamp and a soccer ball. Smithers not
quite such an idiot after all, apparently. Feeling a little
foolish myself now.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, have given Smithers my full
authority to transfer the money first thing Monday. I
understand from your bank that it will take a day or three to
clear, but then we should be ready to move on to Phase
Two--relocating 25.5 million quid to Merry England!
Yours in slavering anticipation,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
Subject: Is the account ready?
> partner,
> My friend at the bank said he is ready to move. ...
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28 Oct 2002 09:06:18 GMT
Dear friend,
Great Job, my friend at the bank said he is ready to move.
Send the confirmation to the bank so that they can activate
your account. This week we should be celebrating
Shaka
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29 Oct 2002 23:35:23 GMT
Dear Mr. Adams.
Spoke to my local bank manager, Mr. Leonard Smithers, late last week, and
authorised him to withdraw the 12,000 pounds for transfer to your
Hong Kong account first thing Monday (local time; now late Tuesday night here).
I understand from your previous message that this will take a few days
to clear, but I am keen to get things moving now as quickly as possible. Can
you confirm that the aforesaid amount has been deposited?
Yours sincerely,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> P. F. fF. Percival,
> Sir,
> This is to inform you that since there is no western union ...
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30 Oct 2002 09:20:42 GMT
P. Percival,
Sir,
Please send us a conifrmation slip from your bank so that we can confirm the
funds from our Hong Kong Account. Normally when transfers are made
confirmation slip are given. Collect this slip and fax it to us so that i can
activate your account Today.Collect the slip from Mr. Leonard Smithers and fax it down. It is Important
Thank you for banking with us.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
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30 Oct 2002 18:17:40 GMT
P. F. fF. Percival,
Sir,
Just spoke to the bank in HongKong, They need the tracking Number and The confirmation slip
to verify the Amount. I personally know that you are a honest man so what i did was
i set up the account for you. But the money will only be confirmed when you send the
slip and the tracking number. Send it Asap.
Also I need your three number pin. What will it be?
The following are your details:
A/C No:1223426578
pin: ?
A/c name: Lord P. F. fF. Percival
Amount: ?
As soon as you send your three number pin i will regsiter you online and you can check online.
make sure you get the confirmation slip and the tracking number and you can fax it to +23417590213.
Make sure you do it Soon.
Have a good day Sir, Thank you for banking with us.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
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30 Oct 2002 19:56:39 GMT
Jolly good, old chap. I asked Smithers last week whether there would be paperwork required.
He got me to sign the papers so that he could withdraw the money, and said there would be more this week
once he had effected the transfer.
I telephoned the bank earlier today to ask him about the confirmation slip, but apparently he called in sick,
and wasn't in the office all day. Will try again tomorrow.
Cheerio!
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> P. Percival,
> Sir,
> Please send us a conifrmation slip from your bank ...
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30 Oct 2002 20:00:25 GMT
Dear Mr. Adams,
Just noticed your second message. Thanks awfully for setting up the account on trust - very white of you.
Looking forward to checking it out 'online' as the modern parlance goes.
Bally birthday is April 19 (hitting the big six-oh next year!), so if it's just three digits you need,
let's make it 419.
Toodle pip!
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> P. F. fF. Percival,
> Sir,
> Just spoke to the bank in HongKong, ...
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31 Oct 2002 08:48:32 GMT
Mr P. Percival
Sir,
Collect the slip and make sure the transfer has been done.
I have already registered you online, Your balance is
Reading Zero. You cannot make any deposit or withdrawals
unless the deposit has been confirmed.
You have about a week. If it is not confirmed in a week.
The account will be closed. You best go to the bank and
do the transfer personally than calling your manager on the phone.
If you want something done right do it yourself.
What is your telephone number and fax?
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams.
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31 Oct 2002 21:40:34 GMT
Dear Mr. Adams,
Still no luck getting the confirmation paperwork, I'm afraid. Went in to the bank myself today
as you suggested and spoke to one of the clerks. He checked the records, and confirmed that
the 12 thousand pounds has been drawn down from my account, but couldn't find any record of any transfer
having been made to Hong Kong. The chappie said Smithers would know for sure, as he had made the withdrawal himself,
but they hadn't heard from him since he called in sick on Wednesday.
Have to admit I got a bit heated at this point: demanded that a minion be dispatched to Smithers' house to drag him
back to the bank and sort the matter out. Stood there and fumed until the underling got back, who promptly reported
no answer at Smithers' door -- blighter was nowhere to be found. The clerk suggested that he may have popped off
to a relative's to recuperate, but no-one was able to recall Smithers ever mentioning any family.
If I actually thought the bounder had any gumption, I'd be starting to get a little concerned at this point,
but the fellow's such a pathetic weed I can't believe he'd actually dare to make off with my money.
Confounded malingerer's probably just gone to ground somewhere with the 'flu.
I'm sure he can't have anything wrong with him that won't sort itself out over the weekend, so I should have
the confirmation details for you on Monday. In the meantime, I've been having dreadful problems with incoming lines
to the manor over the past few weeks. Bloody telephone company swear there's nothing wrong, but it's well known that
they're a pack of lying ratbags. In the meantime, I've managed to attach a fax number to my email,
so you can reach me that way at this number: 15169778365.
Yours etc.,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> Mr P. Percival
> Sir,
> Collect the slip and make sure the transfer has been done. ...
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1 Nov 2002 14:00:42 GMT
Mr P. Percival
Sir,
Thank you for your mail. I know exactly how bankers can behave. Why not withdraw money personally
and wire it by western union, what you do is break it into two parts.
Six thousand,six thousand pounds. This is the reason why most people prefer western union.
If you can get the slip on monday that too will be great.
I have a really strong feeling that the money has arrived, but we have no way of confirming it.
I know you are very busy but you have only a week, Then the account will be closed.
I am sorry i cannot be more helpful to you.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
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4 Nov 2002 09:39:42 GMT
Dear Mr. Adams,
I am very much concerned that you may in fact be wrong about the money turning up
in Hong Kong - I now strongly suspect that it was never transferred at all!
I rang the bank as soon as I woke up this morning - still no word from the accursed Smithers!
Despite my low opinion of his manhood, am now increasingly of the feeling that the bounder has legged it with my 12,000 pounds!
You can imagine how furious I am!!!
Immediately after speaking to the bank I called the local Constabulary, and had a brace of Bobbies sent round to his house,
with orders to break down the door if necessary. No word back from them yet, but I will advise as soon as any news is forthcoming.
Yours in apoplectic rage,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> Mr P. Percival
> Sir,
> Thank you for your mail. I know exactly how bankers can behave.
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4 Nov 2002 12:30:45 GMT
Dear Sir,
Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, I am really sorry to hear about your money being stolen. I told you if
you want something done do it yourself.
It is not too late for you than you sitting at home, why not get in your car drive to the nearest western union
branch available, Even If it is going to Be Five Thousand pounds or One thousand pounds, Go and do it yourself.
The amount does not really matter as long as there is money in your account. Once you go to western union
just say you want to wire money to Lagos, They will be more than helpful than your friend at the bank.
The same day they will give you a control number and details, it is these details we will use and credit your
account the same. No problem No delay, very efficient and very Fast.
If you want something done do it yourself, Buy a 10 pounds phone calling card and give me a call on
+23417763412. Since I cannot call you, why don’t you call me?
I really look forward to speaking with you.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
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4 Nov 2002 20:18:52 GMT
Dear Mr. Adams,
My worst fears have been confirmed, I'm sorry to say. That confounded criminal swine Smithers has indeed done a bunk
with my 12,000 smackers, and is nowhere to be found. When the police broke down his door this morning,
all they found was a few sticks of furniture and a spare wooden leg.
Scotland Yard have been alerted, but I don't hold out much hope that I'll ever see that money, or Smithers, again.
Probably just as well in the latter case, as I certainly wouldn't be able to restrain myself from horse-whipping
the bounder down the main street. And that would just be a preliminary to the thrashing I would give before it was over,
I can tell you!
The other chappies at the bank have been very sympathetic about it all, but obviously I will be moving my considerable finances
to another institution. I have made preliminary arrangements with a more substantial bank in a nearby city, and will be completing
the necessary transfers tomorrow. Have also arranged an appointment with the manager of said organisation to discuss feasibility of
conducting funds transfer to your Hong Kong account under my personal supervision -- not letting the money out of my sight this time!
Failing that I will look at your suggestion of Western Union transfer. They do have an office in the same city as my new bank,
but it is not particularly close by, and I would prefer not to carry any amount of cash from one to the other.
Mr. Adams, I can't tell you how infuriated -- and embarrassed -- I am to have fallen for that rotter Smithers' trickery.
Of course I did know that there are people who behave in this despicable way, cheating innocent people out of their hard-earned cash,
but I never thought it would happen to me! I suppose that working in a bank, you see this sort of thing from day to day,
but I hope you haven't ever had the misfortune to encounter such filthy criminals in your personal life.
Thank goodness there are still honest people in this world, such as your good self, and my little African friend Mr. Momodu.
Yours despairingly,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> Dear Sir,
> Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, I am really sorry ...
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5 Nov 2002 09:28:36 GMT
Dear Lord,
I know that sort of thing happens everyday in Nigeria, We call it
Advanced Fee Fraud, When people take people's money.
A lot of people are cheated every year. Nigeria is very popular when it comes
to that. And also Money Laundering, government officials move millions
across the world everyday. The former Nigerian president Sanni Abacha
kept more than 5 billion dollars in a swiss bank, and he had more than 100
million pounds in different banks in europe and london.
When you said african friend, Is he the Nephew of this Man, Sanni?
Know what you are getting yourself into before you enter.
I can only give you advice as a colleague.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Gadi Adams
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6 Nov 2002 11:14:01 GMT
Dear Mr Adams,
My word! Here I am prattling on about how that scoundrel Smithers flew the coop with a few quid of my petty cash,
when you are clearly hip-deep in his ilk -- and much worse -- on a daily basis! How dreadful it must be for you,
as a fine upstanding member of the banking community, to have to be dealing with this sort of foul scum of humanity,
as indeed you are.
What a pack of accursed dogs these Advanced Fee Fraud merchants of which you speak must be.
There was certainly nothing advanced about Smithers' approach -- he just took the money and ran.
Wherever he is holed up, be it here in England or in parts abroad, I'm sure our highly efficient and effective police force
will track him down in short order and deal to him his due. In the meantime, however,
I shall certainly be more careful about how I manage my money, and in whom I place my trust.
I have to say I've rather gone off the idea of transferring money to your bank via Western Union -- it strikes me that
someone at your end would have to collect the money from the Western Union office,
and then fight his way back to your bank through the dense crowds of pickpockets, thieves, and assorted criminals
with which your worthy nation's streets are clearly afflicted. Direct bank-to-bank transfer to your Hong Kong account,
as you suggested, seems a much safer plan. My new bank manager has agreed to let me supervise the transaction personally,
and has made an appointment for me to visit him at the bank on Friday, to watch the transfer being made.
Can't say that I've heard of this man Abacha, or his nephew, although the name does seem to ring a bell.
The friend to whom I referred is a fine young chap by the name of Shaka Momodu, with whom I will shortly be conducting some business.
It was he that recommended your bank to me; I was under the impression that he is a friend of your colleague Mr. Adewale,
although I may be mistaken in that.
Your sincerely,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
> Dear Lord,
> I know that sort of thing happens everyday in Nigeria, ...
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7 Nov 2002 09:52:19 GMT
Dear lord,
Where are u? has the account been opened yet?
You still haven't given me your phone number?
Do u not own a mobile phone?
Shaka
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9 Nov 2002 10:48:41 GMT
My dear young chap,
Oh my goodness, I do apologise most profusely. There has
been so much drama in my life this past week that I
completely overlooked the fact that I have been keeping the
chappie at your bank informed of goings-on, but not your
good self.
In a nutshell, then (where do I begin?), what has happened
is that the arch scoundrel Leonard Smithers, previously my
bank manager in Little Farnwsorth, gained my authorisation
to withdraw 12,000 pounds from my account in order to
transfer it to a Hong Kong account owned by ecobank.
Instead of transferring the money however, the filthy
bounder STOLE it, and scarpered. "Hopped it", you might
say, given his 50% deficiency in the leg department. By
calling in sick on the day he disappeared, Smithers
managed to get a few days lead on the police, so I don't
suppose we'll ever catch him now. Oh how I wish I knew
where he was!
Anyway, I recovered from the shock of all this after a day or
two and moved my millions to another bank. I had arranged
to personally supervise the Hong Kong transfer with my new
bank manager on Friday when, would you believe it, he
called in sick as well. I almost paniced at this point, but the
helpful young fellows at the new bank were very quick to
assure me that my accounts hadn't been touched, and that
the manager had been looking noticably under the weather
on Thursday, so I'm confident it's just a coincidence, and the
poor chap is genuinely a bit squiffy.
So where we stand now is, I've made a tentative
appointment at the bank for Monday, assuming the
manager is hale and hearty again by then. Once we've
completed the transfer, Mr Adams at your bank tells me it
will take two or three days to clear, and then we should have
a working account ready to transfer in your inheritance.
By the way, is this Mr. Adams the friend that you mentioned
you had at the bank? Or Mr. Adewale, to whom I was talking
originally? I wasn't sure, so I have been very careful not to let
on any details about your business.
Cheerio!
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
> Dear lord,
> Where are u? has the account been opened yet? ...
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10 Nov 2002 17:24:48 GMT
Dear lord,
My friend at the bank is adewale, and he said you are not
serious about the account that you are just playing around
and having a good time.
I know there are many scams out there but just trust me and
let us do this, I do not need your money only your help.
I have no one to turn to as a father so it is hard for me.
The whole amount will be safer in London in your account,
although i have never talked to you on the phone but i
really trust you and i want us to work together.
I know how you feel that ok some more migerian scams, but
this one is not like that. Not everything you read is true.
Not everybody in one country can be bad. If you are joking
and fooling around just come out straight and i will find
someone else. This is my life and i have nothing else to do.
Just please be honest Lord. The respect i have for you is a
lot. Please be honest with me.
Are you helping me or Not? I can not just sit by and wait
for nothing to happen. Please tell me the truth.
This is all i ask.
Please.
Shaka
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13 Nov 2002 10:34:02 GMT
My dear young friend,
You will have to forgive me for taking so long to respond to
your last message, but I honestly did not know WHAT to
make of it.
Just a few days earlier Mr. Gadi Adams, with whom I have
been dealing at ecobank, had explained to me about the
frequent occurrence in Nigeria of fraudulent financial
'scams', as you call them. He even tried to suggest that you
yourself might be taking me for a ride, although I soon set
him straight on that point. Obviously, though, his had me
somewhat rattled, and then suddenly along comes your
message, which mentions this problem as well. On top of
all this, I came down with the worst case of the bally
influenza I've ever experienced; it turns out that my new bank
manager had caught a dose, and then before he even
realised he had it he had passed it on to me at our meeting
last week. That's what kept him from making our
appointment on Monday, and has kept me wrapped up in
front of the electric fire at the Manor ever since.
I must say this comment from your 'friend' Mr. Adewale had
me deeply puzzled. He was perfectly polite to me when I first
made contact with the bank, but I haven't had anything to do
with him since. I've been dealing exclusively with a Mr. Gadi
Adams, who Mr. Adewale told me was my account
manager. I couldn't understand what motivation your Mr.
Adewale would have for making such a preposterous
statement, especially when he was not having any dealings
with me, and therefore had nothing upon which to base
such an opinion.
And then, as I lay in bed this morning waiting for Mrs.
Miggins to bring in my breakfast and run my bath, it
suddenly hit me -- your so-called 'friend' Mr. Adewale is
running one of these scams! That has to be it: he's trying to
rip you off, my young friend, trying to play you and I off
against each other so that he can steal your poor late
father's inheritance! And although Mr. Adams has appeared
to be very helpful, and I was originally loathe to suspect him
of any wrongdoing, I began to wonder whether his attempt
to sour my relationship with you wasn't actually a ploy to
discredit your good self, so that he could somehow divert
my funds from their intended purpose (to help you in your
plight), so that the sum total ended up in his pocket! I see
now that his openness about the preponderance of such
fraudsters in your country was simply an attempt to sow the
seeds of mistrust in my mind.
My little chum, when we started down this road I had no
conception of how endemic this knavery is, how deep is the
rot in the financial institutions of both your country and mine.
First the villain Smithers steals my 12,000 pounds, and now
these two scoundrels at your bank appear to be conniving to
do the dirty on both of us simultaneously. Can nobody be
trusted?
Frankly, unless we can find someone at ecobank upon
whom we can rely not to betray us, I don't think my opening
an account there is at all wise. We must put our thinking
caps on and find a more creative solution. Do you have any
ideas, my friend? Is there no way we can arrange for the
funds to be transferred from ecobank into (for example) my
account here, without going through an extra account over
there first?
Yours in perplexity,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
> Dear lord,
> My friend at the bank is adewale, and he said ...
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14 Nov 2002 14:17:35 GMT
DEAR LORD,
YOU ARE RIGHT PROBABLY THEY WANT ME NOT TO TRUST YOU.
THERE IS A DIPLOMATIC COURIER COMPANY, THAT DELIVER
GOODS THROUGH DIPLOMATIC MEANS. I CAN ARRANGE FOR THE MONEY
TO BE KEPT IN TWO BOXES AND THEN SHIPPED TO YOU THROUGH
THIS COMPANY, MY LATE DAD HAD AN ACCOUNT WITH THIS COURIER.
THEY WORK FOR MINISTERS AND DIPLOMATS AND RICH PEOPLE LIKE
YOU. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
CAN YOU HANDLE CASH DROPPED AT YOUR DOORSTEP. YOU CAN PAY
THEM UPON DELIVERY.
WRITE ME AND I WILL ARRANGE IT.
WHY HAVEN'T YOU STILL CALLED ME ON THE PHONE?
SHAKA
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15 Nov 2002 11:21:49 GMT
My dear young friend,
This sounds like an absolutely capital idea! We should have
proceeded down this track from the outset, and then by now
we could have had the money safely tucked up out of harm's
way in a good reliable English bank.
I can certainly handle cash dropped off at my doorstep -- in
fact I don't think I'd be able to resist, ha ha! Seriously though,
the manor is well out of town, and the front door is a good
three quarters of a mile from the road, so there's no
question of any nosey parkers sniffing around any
deliveries. Have to make sure it doesn't arrive on hunt day,
of course, because that's the one day when we do have a
whole swaggles of men and animals milling around in the
driveway.
So, here I am writing; let's see you get arranging! How soon
do you think I should expect delivery?
Yours expectantly,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
----- Original Message -----
From: shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
> DEAR LORD,
> YOU ARE RIGHT ...
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16 Nov 2002 10:48:48 GMT
Dear lord,
Great send me your full address and i will first send the
keys that you will use and open the boxes.
Then the boxes will leave the next day.
Waiting to hear from you.
Shaka
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18 Nov 2002 02:11:48 GMT
My dear young chap,
Apologies for writing so late at night; problematic affairs at some of my
more remote estates have kept me busy for the last two days solid, and
I haven't had a single moment to myself. Your plan to send the keys
separately sounds very sensible -- I shall keep an eye out, and let you
know as soon as they arrive.
Cheerio,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
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18 Nov 2002 09:55:40 GMT
Dear Lord,
Your address?
Shaka
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19 Nov 2002 06:29:31 GMT
Good morning, my young friend.
How is it going with those keys then? Are they on their way? When do you
think I should expect to see them?
Cheers,
P. Percival
--
Lord Percival Fitzroy fFotheringham Percival, Ninth Earl of Curmudgeon
Percival Manor
Little Farnsworth on the Wold
England, U.K.
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DEAR SIR,
I AM MR. LORD FROM ENGLAND A FRIEND TO BIN LADIN .I GOT YOUR
ADDRESS FROM THE INTERNET.I WILL WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME IN TRANSFERING $500.00.00 FIVE HUNDREND
MILLION DOLLARS TO YOUR ACCOUNT
TO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE LEGITIMATE OWNER OF THE MONEY IS ON THE RUN. CAN YOU HELP ME? PLEASE LET ME
KNOW SO THAT I CAN TELL YOU HOW TO PROCEED.
EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
BEST REGARDS,
MR. LORD
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