Stone the Crows!

Pierre being our fourth attempt to engage Mr. Momodu in conversation, we thought we'd push the envelope a little further by using the same free mail-hosting service as 'Shaka' himself.

Pierre uses the website-based translator at www.freetranslation.com. Our first impression was that its English to French translation of Pierre's simple sentences was almost flawless, and we though that we might have to find a less competent service for our purposes. However, translating back into English did manage to introduce enough errors for our amusement.

N.B. pierre = rock or stone; les corbeaux = the crows. Although at first glance this looks like a typical French name, we are fairly sure that the use of the plural is not kosher.

16 Oct 2002 09:54:09 GMT*

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: shakamomodo@caramail.com
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 11:54:09 GMT+1
Subject: Re: HELP

Dear MR. Momodu,

I have only translated today your letter (reproduces to the under). I excuse myself of not to reply earlier. I used a translation website of internet (How fortunate). My response is written in French, then I used the translation website to convert it to English for you. I hope that you can read the result.

Your request is big interest me. I would like a lot you to help the access the money in the return for the 30% action that you offer.

Please to send details the earlier possible one. If you can reply in French this would be easier, but if you reply in English I will use the translation website again.

The yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

> Dear Sir,I hope this email meets you well,

* Timestamps are checked carefully against all original headers. Where they appear to differer from the "Date:" line, it is usually due to an incorrect time zone setting on one of the servers involved.

It was a couple of days before Shaka bothered to reply to Pierre, but eventually...

Interesting point: the originating IP is from a block apparently allocated to "Gilat Satcom" of Israel. this address, or one very like it, has turned up in other threads. Perhaps an Israel-based ISP servicing Nigeria?

18 Oct 2002 13:16:10 GMT

From: shaka momodu
To: pierre les corbeaux
X-Originating-IP: [192.116.119.114]
Subject: Re[1] HELP
Date: Fri, 18 Oct 2002 15:16:10 GMT+1

Dear friend,

Thank you for your mail, what is your telephone number?
my nanny speaks good french.

Shaka.

It's rather fortunate that Shaka hasn't noticed what we also failed to notice until after we had sent him this message: caramail has its own built-in translation option!

Yes, the "Type now paste ..." bit is deliberate. It's what happens if you don't overwrite the default "Type or paste text here..." at the translation web site.

21 Oct 2002 21:04:56 GMT

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: shaka momodu
Subject: Re[2] HELP
Date: Mon, 21 Oct 2002 23:04:56 GMT+1

Type now paste text here.Cher MR. Momodu,

Thank-you for your message. I am very happy that I can help you. Please to write to me with the details of this that I must do after.

I did not understand your sentence "My Grandmother gives good French." Is this a proposition? It seems very shocking, but maybe I understood poorly.

Yours sincerely,
Pierre

> -------Message d'origine-------
> De : shaka momodu <shakamomodu@caramail.com>
> Date : 18/10/2002 15:16:11
>
> Dear friend,
>
> Thank you for your mail,

A week goes by with no response from our friend Shaka. Is communicating with Pierre just too hard? After all, Pierre's English is not the best.

Oh look, Pierre didn't notice that the translation engine modified the name he really meant to write: "Ramsbottom". :-)

28 Oct 2002 08:16:31 GMT

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: shakamomodu@caramail.com
Subject: Assistance
Date: Mon, 28 Oct 2002 10:16:31 GMT+1

Dear MR. Momodu,

I wrote you two times some backs offrande of times to help you with your bank problems, but I did not receive a second response of you. You always done demands my assistance?

I request again because the 30% of 25.5 million that you offered would be very useful me now. You see, my dead mother recently, and when I crossed its papers this week I discovered the name of my true father, that I did not never know. It was a MR. E. Sheepsarse, an England sailor. I wants well to visit England and tries to find my father, but cannot allow itself this currently, unless I can receive the 30% action that you offered.

Please to write and to allow me knowledge if you always have need of my assistance.

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

Hoorah! Just one hour later, a response from our little friend. How pleased he must have been to hear from Pierre again!

28 Oct 2002 09:12:39 GMT

From: shaka momodu
To: pierre les corbeaux
X-Originating-IP: [192.118.53.28]
Subject: Re: Assistance
Date: Mon, 28 Oct 2002 11:12:39 GMT+1

Dear friend,

I wrote you many times but you did not reply.
I sent you an email from my mail.com account
did you get it? about opening an account
with the bank so that i can credit the money
into that account.
Read that email. What is your phone number i want to
call you and explain in frecnh

Shaka

Ooops! we must have accidentally ticked the "HTML" checkbox, because this is how our nicely-formatted message was apparently sent. No matter, it just contributes to Pierre's general lack of coherence.

29 Oct 2002 07:34:27 GMT

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: shaka momodu
Subject: Re[1] Assistance
Date: Tue, 29 Oct 2002 08:34:27 GMT+1

Dear MR. Momodu, I am so happy to hear of you! I did not receive message of you outside of your first response. I had not without any doubt mail of an account of "mail com". Maybe you typed my address inexactly? Attention - there is two dots: this is "pierre DOT les DOT corbeaux AT caramail.com". Sometimes this confuses people. Please to try to send me the instructions again, and I will read them immediately. Yours sincerely, Pierre les Corbeaux > -------Message d'origine------- > De : shaka momodu > Date : 28/10/2002 11:12:40 > > > Dear friend, > > I wrote you many times but you did not reply.

Oh bother, he's found a French speaker to help him (we're fairly sure he doesn't speak French himself, or he would have started using it immediately. He also hummed and hawed earlier about getting his "nanny" to speak to us in French on the 'phone.) This is going to make life difficult, as his fluent friend will probably balk at our hopeless French straight away. Still, nothing like a challenge ... :-)

(We've given our own translation of his message in italics.)

29 Oct 2002 13:51:26 GMT

From: shaka momodu
To: pierre les corbeaux
X-Originating-IP: [192.116.119.114]
Subject: Re[2] Assistance
Date: Tue, 29 Oct 2002 14:51:26 GMT+1

cher partenaire,

Je vous ai dit que j'ai un ami qui travaille dans la
banque, ecobank. Il a dit que si vous ouvrez un compte
privé dans votre nom qu'il créditera le compte avec mon
argent. La
quantité entière, et que vous aurez accès à transférer de
l'argent l'en ligne utilisation de votre internet. C'est
important que vous ouvriez le compte avec au moins cinq
mille
dollars de euro. Aussitôt que vous pouvez ceci faire mon
ami créditera votre compte avec mon argent. Alors vous
pouvez transférer l'argent entier hors. Voici les détails
de
contact de la banque: ECOBANK PLC WEBSITE BANCAIRE PRIVE:
http: //ecobank.port5.com ADRESSE D'E-MAIL:
info@ecobank.port5.com

BONNE CHANCE

Quel est votre numéro de téléphone?

shaka

dear partner,

I told you that I have a friend who works in a bank, ecobank. He said that if you open a private account in your name that he will credit the account with my money. The entire quantity, and that you will have access for transferring the money over your internet connection. It is important that you open the account with at least five thousand eurodollars. As soon as you can do this my friend will credit your account with my money. Then you can transfer all the money out. Here are the contact details for the bank: ECOBANK PLC PRIVATE BANKING WEBSITE: http: //ecobank.port5.com EMAIL ADDRESS: info@ecobank.port5.com

GOOD LUCK

What is your telephone number?

shaka

We decided not to risk tipping him off with our schoolboy French, and instead will continue to write in (apalling) English.

So, first, a letter to our old friends at the bank...

30 Oct 2002 22:54:39 GMT

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: info@ecobank.port5.com
Subject: Account
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2002 23:54:39 GMT+1

To that it can concern,

I would like to open an account to your bank, with a balance that opens of five thousand Euros. Please to send me the instructions to open the account, and the operation it by over the internet.

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

... and then a friendly note to Shaka.

30 Oct 2002 22:57:51 GMT

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: shaka momodu
Subject: Re[3] Assistance
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2002 23:57:51 GMT+1

Dear MR. Momodu,

You found a speaker of French to help you. Wonderful! That will do it a lot of for me to understand your instructions. I know that you speak English, therefore I will continue to translate my messages to you, but I am very happy to receive your messages in French.

I only now wrote to the bank, as suggested you, and requested for them to open an account for me.

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

Oh look, a message from our old friend Mr. Adewale. Just the one copy, for a change, accompanied by the usual form, in TIF format.

30 Oct 2002 08:40:44 GMT

De: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Sujet: Re: Account
A: <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Date: Thu, 31 Oct 2002 00:40:44 -0800
Message-ID: <299601c280b9$3375d2e0$66cb010a@mail2world.com>

Pierre les Corbeaux,

Sir,

Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, We will be happy to assist you and open
a private account. With us you will have access to online banking, you can check your
balance and make transfers online. Before we proceed with opening the account.
It seems you will be opening a Euro Dollar Account.
You can send the Five Thousand Euro by Western Union Money transfer. It is very fast and reliable, Send it to
your account officer:
FOR THE WESTERN UNION:
MR BELLOW SALAOU SOULEYMANE
LOME-TOGO.

LOME IS THE CITY
TOGO IS THE COUNTRY

TEST QUESTION: What is my name?
ANS: Pierre
Upon payment please send all the details to this email, like name of sender, control no etc. Upon confirmation
your account will be activated in 24hrs, you will be given an account no. You are also advised to choose a three
pin number, This number will be private and it will allow you to have access to our online facilities.
You will be the only one to have access to your account, Since we are private banking, all information’s sent to
us are secure. Fill the attached form and fax it back to us at fax no 23417590213. With the western union
details and your account will be activated the same day.
What is your private fax and telephone number?
We look forward to hearing from you.

We appreciate your valued/future patronage look forward to a sustained and mutually beneficial business
relationship with you.

Yours faithfully,

FOR ECOBANK PRIVATE BANKING

Mr Segun Adewale
Customer Service
Ecobank Private Banking PLc.

"que je veux" here is perhaps a typo on his part for "que je peux" -- that I can call you on. Or perhaps his French (or his friend's) is almost as bad as his English.

31 Oct 2002 09:08:36 GMT

From: shaka momodu
To: pierre les corbeaux
X-Originating-IP: [192.116.119.114]
Subject: Re[4] Assistance
Date: Thu, 31 Oct 2002 10:08:36 GMT+1

L'ami,

Le bon Travail, ouvrir le compte rapidement. quel est
votre numéro de téléphone que je veux à l'appel vous? Vous
n'avez pas un numéro mobile? Je veux vous appeler.

votre ami,

Shaka

Friend,

Good Work, opening the account quickly. what is your telephone number that I want to call you on? You don't have a mobile number? I want to call you.

your friend,

Shaka

"I have the bordeom with" began as "I am having trouble with ..." :-)

4 Nov 2002 00:37:03 GMT

From: pierre les corbeaux
To: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Subject: Re[1] Account
Date: Mon, 04 Nov 2002 01:37:03 GMT+1

Dear MR. Adewale,

Thank-you for your mesage, but I have the boredom with the file of TIF that you furnished. You are able to send me a copy in a different format, by former. JPEG?

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

> -------Message d'origine-------
> Sir,
> Ecobank is pleased to receive your email, ...

True to his word, Mr. Adewale did indeed attach the (usual) form in JPEG format.

4 Nov 2002 09:20:37 GMT

De: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Sujet: Re: Re[1] Account
A: <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Date: 04/11/2002 01:20:37

Pierre les Corbeaux

Sir,

Thank you for your mail, I am attaching It as Jpeg.

Yours faithfully,

Mr. Segun Adewale

Just to keep the conversation going, I sent back his form ... scanned at 40dpi, and therefore completely unreadable :-)

6 Nov 2002 07:55:34 GMT

De: pierre les corbeaux <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Sujet: Re[1] Re[1] Account
A: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Date: 06/11/2002 08:55:34

Dear MR. Adewale

I am grieved that I did not reply earlier. I continued a short business trip.

Attached please to find the request form.

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

No response for a while -- has he forgotten about Pierre? In the days before I sent off this message, the Bobby Urich debacle was playing itself out, so perhaps he had his mind on that. That and the separate scam he initiated from another account starting November 6.

"examined copy" was originally "scanned copy" before the double-translation.

10 Nov 2002 21:34:37 GMT

De: pierre les corbeaux <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Sujet: Re[1] Re[1] Account
A: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Date: 10/11/2002 22:34:47

Dear MR. Adewale,

I returned an examined copy of this form to you November 6. I had
not nevertheless a response. You received the form?

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

Why Mr. Adewale, that's a sudden change in tone! Not very businesslike at all.

Of course, this is the first time we've heard from Mr. Adewale since Mr. Momodu blew his top at Bobby and Lord Percy. That couldn't be related, could it??? :-)

11 Nov 2002 10:16:50 GMT

De: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Sujet: Re: Re[1] Re[1] Account
A: <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Date: 11/11/2002 02:16:50

Sir,

The form was received, how about the western union for the deposit?
We are still waiting!

Yours faithfully,

Mr Segun Adewale

I've let this thread slide a little, but then Pierre has never been terrifically fast at responding. Hopefully his concern here will provide a believable excuse.

I'm beginning to regret not having kept all of Pierre's original letters; the garbling of the web-translation can be quite amusing. Never too late to start, however, so the three phases of this messages are archived here. As always, the French and final English versions are 'unretouched'.

14 Nov 2002 12:38:23 GMT

De: pierre les corbeaux <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Sujet: Re[1] Re[1] Re[1] Account
A: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Date: 14/11/2002 01:38:23

Dear MR. Adewale,

Please to accept my excuses for not to reply earlier. I considered
your instructions, and I have someone concerns:

You counseled me to arrange the transfer of funds (in the order to
open my account) via the union of the west. Nevertheless I am
confused a little by this suggestion. It does not seem as the normal
bank practice me.

Why do you recommend the usage Union of the west? If I send the
money as by your instructions, it does not mean that someone
removes money (completely a big quantity) of your union office of
the local west, and then to carry it supports to the bank? This
seems rather dangerous me.

Most of the banks that I treated in the past have opportunities for
the direct bank-to-the bank transfer (the wire transfer). Your bank
not is it able this transaction type? If if, I find that completely about.

I look at forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

How's this for compounded stupidity? Not only did they happily set up "419" as Lord Percy's PIN number without so much as batting an eyelid, they then handed out the same details to Pierre!

I must say, however, that I'm impressed that Mr. Adewale understood Pierre's point about the dangers of transporting money acoss town from the Western Union office to the bank. Naturally, he has a reasonable explanation ...

14 Nov 2002 13:30:33 GMT

De: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Sujet: Re: Re[1] Re[1] Re[1] Account
A: <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Date: 14/11/2002 05:30:33

Pierre les Corbeaux,

Sir,

Thank you for your mail and yes we receive bank to bank, It just that sometimes we find it hard confirming bank
transfers, it sometimes takes a week or two weeks. Our banking systems are quite slow.
Since we are working together with Western Union, We can receive these funds the same day that you send it.
You are sending the money to your account officer, which will be collected by the bank in the bank's premises.
We have already setup your account but there is no funds inside the account.
I advise you use western union this is the fastest way of getting money across.
Below are your account details and pin:

A/C No: 1223426578
pin: 419

If you want to change your pin, you can by sending us email.
Try and deposit any amount in your account so that your account can be active. You can send any amount over
one thousand euro or even one thousand euro it is not a problem.
So that it can be credited into your account.
If there is anything else please feel free to send an email.
You can call your account officer in togo on Tel: 2289459565 he speaks good french and he will explain.

Yours faithfully,

Mr Segun Adewale

Plus, for good measure, a second copy (with a different subject line) 56 seconds later.

In caramail.com's summary list of incoming messages, the first message (above) was labelled Jeu (i.e. Thu 14 Nov) 21:00. This message (right) was labelled Ven (i.e. Fri 15 Nov) 07:09. What relation that bears to actual departure or arrival time is completely beyond me. Correct timestamps were shown when each messages was displayed, and the detailed headers indicated arrival at caramail.com within minutes of having been sent.

14 Nov 2002 13:31:27 GMT

De: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Sujet: Reply
A: <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Date: 14/11/2002 05:31:27

Pierre les Corbeaux,

Sir,

Thank you for your mail and yes we receive bank to bank, It just that sometimes we find it hard confirming bank
transfers, it sometimes takes a week or two weeks. Our banking systems are quite slow.
Since we are working together with Western Union, We can receive these funds the same day that you send it.
You are sending the money to your account officer, which will be collected by the bank in the bank's premises.
We have already setup your account but there is no funds inside the account.
I advise you use western union this is the fastest way of getting money across.
Below are your account details and pin:

A/C No: 1223426578
pin: 419

If you want to change your pin, you can by sending us email.
Try and deposit any amount in your account so that your account can be active. You can send any amount over
one thousand euro or even one thousand euro it is not a problem.
So that it can be credited into your account.
If there is anything else please feel free to send an email.
You can call your account officer in togo on Tel: 2289459565 he speaks good french and he will explain.

Yours faithfully,

Mr Segun Adewale

In this message of course, Pierre is playing "let's try to offend a Moslem." See here for his original and intermediate texts.

As of 20 Nov 23:51:00 GMT, this message has not yet turned up in the 'ecobank' Inbox. This is interesting - is caramail.com now somehow identifying and blocking scam-related emails? Or are they just an incrediblybad service?

Update: 21 Nov 02:19 GMT - this message finally turned up in the 'ecobank' account sometime in the last few minutes.

19 Nov 2002 10:47:42 GMT

De: pierre les corbeaux <pierre.les.corbeaux@caramail.com>
Sujet: Re: Reply
A: <ecobank@customerservice.inbox.as>
Date: 19/11/2002 11:47:42

Dear MR. Adewale

I am grieved that I did not reply earlier to your message. I was
moved away from my office that résout some problems. My
corporation sells the equipment that cultivates, principally for the
treatment of pig corpses. Well that I am the director that manages,
I began my career as an engineer, and sometimes when a
problem raises itself with a piece of our equipment, I calm as to go
out and receive my dirty hands.

When even, I looked at the website and confirmed the account
details you gave me. I attempted to use the transfer ease showed
on your site web, and it gave me this confirmation number:
533966387802

Nevertheless, it did not never request me for my account details in
bank or any authorization, therefore I know thinks that it can have
transferred my money. Why it would give me a confirmation
number?

Yours sincerely,
Pierre les Corbeaux

20 Nov 2002 23:53 GMT

To investigate the message delay, I sent two tests from Pierre's caramail.com account: one to the 'ecobank' address, Bcc:ed to The Chaos Project, and then immediately afterwards one to The Chaos Project alone. Neither message had turned up anywhere by 21 Nov 00:01 GMT. Eventually they did arrive, but by then I was too deeply involved in the End Game to really care.

Pierre was the last of our fictional characters to engage in conversation with Messrs. Momodu and Adewale, and hence the shortest-lived. Alas, poor Pierre. Had he lived long enough, he was destined to mete out justice to Wendy's evil ex-husband Leonard Smithers. Instead, he was relegated to little more than a bit part, raising his head with the occasional contorted question or fractured phrase. Au revoir, Pierre, and be able your days are as happy as they are long.